Pastor Jeremy Stephens

The other day I met up with my dad for lunch at one of the ubiquitous chain restaurants in our area.  One of the joys of living near home again is that we can have conversations over hamburgers instead of on the phone!

As we arrived, I needed to use the restroom.

One of my biggest fears is that I’ll walk into the wrong restroom.  I always check the door 10 times before walking through it, just to be sure that I’m getting it right.  For some strange reason, I walked in the wrong door.

I didn’t know it at first.  Us guys usually know when we’re in the wrong place though.  There is a distinct lack of equipment in the ladies restroom.  Confused, I walked down the row of stalls to try to find the urinals and found none.  So, I did what every rational person does when they have to choose a restroom stall, I went back and entered the handicapped one.

That’s when it started to dawn on me that I made a horrible error.

Panicking, I looked to the left of the toilet and found the mysterious box that men’s restrooms seem to lack.  I heard movement in the stall next to me.  I glanced at the floor under the stall to find…..

…lime green crocs.

No rational man would ever wear lime green crocs (no rational human should wear crocs at all, but that’s another blog post).

I heard the person open their stall and move toward the sink.  In terror, I moved and hid in the back corner of my stall.  I knew that if I could see the lime-green crocs, she could see my size 12 running shoes.

After the petrifying 30 seconds of hand washing and the whirr of the hands-free paper towel dispenser, I heard the door open and close.  I counted to five and ran out the door and quickly ducked in the men’s room.  I’m a mess.

Am I the only person to have done this?  Did it happen to you?  Please tell me I’m not alone.